Chapter 21: What a Night

Gelapnya mendung membuatku ingin bebas seperti burung
Tinggi mengangkasa tanpa ada praduga
Inginku berlari
Padang luas yang kunanti
hanya ada aku, dia dan mimpiku..

Andai aku bisa
Lepaskan semua jangkar pembelenggu
Berat, enggan kumelihat
Pandangan mataku pun memekat

Kadang
Sebercak tinta hitam dapat membutakan mata mereka
Tertutuplah istana istana yang ada didepan mata
Kecewa,, kita hanya dapat kecewa,,

Mata yang terbuka..
Niat egois duduk manis bersila..
Mengajakku bercanda, cengkrama,, berkata semua akan baik-baik saja..
Tapi apakah aku bisa? Kemana aku harus bertanya?
Apakah memang ini jalannya?

Ternyata,
Ini bukan impian dan asa..
Lariku dari hadapnya
Terus berlari
Menuju puncak cahaya yang menari..

-Delft, 30 March 2010; 23:54-

Chapter 20: .....

Deer Daiyeri,

I'm tired to tell the loneliness
I'm tired to tell emptiness
I want to feel the pain, and struggle isn't the pain
Pain of the separation
Even you'll meet them again tomorrow
Pain of the betrayal
Even it's just they can't be there when you need them to

Should I change it a little bit?
Becoming more aggressive?

I knew
They wouldn't show it
If I didn't get the signal
And here I am
Standing, waiting, wondering and writing..
Of my painting of love that don't even know when it will coming true..
I was just so scared
I am trapped..

-Delft, 21/03/2010 ; 00:14-

Chapter 19 : The calling

Deer Daiyeri,

I can't stand the call anymore
He's been calling at me
He said that this is not the right way
He said I wasn't born to do this
Was it true?

What I should do?
Should I join with hopeless club?
Which they think they rich, they don't
I want to join with the happiness
Eventhough when they aren't rich, they are

Hope this will go the right way

Delft, 20-03-2010 : 23:58

Chapter 18: ....

Deer Daiyeri,

Why Cupid still has not coming to my house?
My bell is not broken
My door is not locked
Maybe he just lost his own way

Here, 10 second feels like 10 hours
Smiling on the mirror can't be the cure forever
Seeing around made heart beat faster
Maybe he just gave his signals
But still, i did the denial

Should i help him?
But what if I got lost?
Got beaten to death?
I've been living in city of bandit
Your heart is theirs, and their heart are theirs..
Find your perfect one, means you're ready for your imperfect life..
A good heart-guardian..

-Deventer, 10/03/2010 ; 12:56 AM-

Chapter 17 : The burden

Deer Daiyeri,

Why i've been walking in this transparant line...
It's like..
I know what i'm doing..
But i really don't know why i must do it..

Is God really loves me?
Then why i can't walk together with the others..
Lightly.. No Load.. With someone I love..
Did i make mistake even before I born?
Does reincarnation even exist?
Then why I have to feel all of this?
It's heavy, God.. I want to throw it to the ocean.. I wish i could

I want to get the cure..
To be myself..
To be my own..
Live my life to the fullest..
Just... Give it to me...
Promise, I won't be bad...

-Deventer, 10/03/2010 ; 12:41 AM-

Chapter 16 : Ge-Je

Deer Daiyeri,
I don't know what should i write
I really don't know

All i know i just miss u so much
My heart screamed at me
He told me to go on you
Whatever it is

Promise i'll write soon smthing happen to me
But when is it??

T_T